Tears From Pain Mixed With Rain
by MidnightMoonGlow
Summary: After Magnus breaks it off with him, Alec feels more alone than ever. He just can't seem to understand that he has loving friends and family who try so hard to be there for him and he doesn't have to cry alone.


**AN: Hey, guys! I am doing one of them fancy word prompt challenges. I know you're supposed to choose a fandom, ship, and all that other good stuff, but I am going to be doing various fandoms with different friendships, family love, romance, etc. The list that I will be using is by YamiHigushi on Quizilla. I usually get them from Tumblr or Deviantart, but I saw this one and just couldn't resist! **

**I just wrote a fic about how their relationship begins, so I thought I would also write one about how it ends. The words written in italics are Cassandra Clare's words, not mine. You guys probably would have been able to figure that out, but I didn't want a flame claiming that I am a horrible person, stealing work from the book and taking it as my own. **

**My word: Ending **

"_Magnus—" Alec took a step toward his boyfriend, and for the first time that he remembered, Magnus moved away from him. His posture was stiff and unfriendly. He was looking at Alec the way he'd look at a stranger, a stranger he didn't like very much._

"_I'm so sorry," Alec said. His voice sounded scratchy and uneven to his own ears. "I never meant—"_

"_I was thinking about it, you know," Magnus said. "That's part of why I wanted the Book of the White. Immortality can be a burden. You think of the days that stretch out before you, when you have been everywhere, seen everything. The one thing I hadn't experienced was growing old with someone—someone I loved. I thought perhaps it would be you. But that does not give you the right to make the length of my life your choice and not mine."_

"_I know." Alec's heart raced. "I know, and I wasn't going to do it—"_

"_I'll be out all day," Magnus said. "Come and get your things out of the apartment. Leave your key on the dining room table." His eyes searched Alec's face. "It's over. I don't want to see you again, Alec. Or any of your friends. I'm tired of being their pet warlock."_

Alec could've sworn he could repeat everything Magnus had said to him outloud even though it was so long. He had every word glued to his memory. Every stinging, painful, hateful, _true _word.

Even Alec had to agree that what he had done was unacceptable. He didn't blame Magnus for ending it with him. If Alec had been in Magnus' position, he would have done the exact same thing.

_"I'm tired of being their pet warlock." _Is that what Magnus thought he was to everyone? _Just some pet? _He was worth so much more than that, how could he not see it? He had done so much for everyone. Other than Alec, Isabelle loved him the most. Sure at first she was sort of into the protective, younger sister role-warning Magnus that she could take him or would die trying if he hurt her older brother. Alec guessed she had such an appreciation for the warlock because Magnus had healed him after the incident with Abbadon, the greater demon.

Alec felt tears roll down his cheeks and hit the pavement, blending in with the rain that had begun to pour down from the night sky, and he wanted to scream in frustration at his own weakness. He wiped the tears away viciously with a choked sob. Unable to hold it in anymore, he allowed himself to fall to his knees crying. He could feel his legs beginning to become drenched as he sat on the soaking pavement. He wouldn't be able to cry once he got home; he refused to allow Clary, Jace and Isabelle see him like this. So instead, he cried alone like he always did. Growing up, there was nothing he hated more than crying in front of people. Isabelle did too, but eventually she always seemed to give-in and allow herself to fall onto the shoulders of their parents, Jace, now Clary, and especially Alec.

Eventually, he found the emotional strength to get up off the ground and make his way back to the Institute. Magnus' place wasn't too far and he didn't seem in the mood for awkward cab conversation so he walked. He didn't mind as the rain soaked through his hair and made its way down his back. He thought about how cliche this whole situation was; big, dramatic breakup full of regret and tears completed with rain pouring down, making the scene even more depressing.

He reached the Institute only to be greeted by the foul Church. "I'm not in the mood," he grumbled at the cat as it chose that moment to use his legs as a scratching post. "Ow! Go away." With a hiss the cat stalked off, leaving Alec alone. He stepped inside the elevator where he took the opportunity to lean against the wall and wipe away and possible signs he was crying. The door dinged and he stepped off, only to be greeted yet again.

"Alec! There you are! We were waiting for you. We assumed you would just spend the night with Magnus since it's _pouring _out there."

"Isabelle, I'm tired and all I really want to do is just head to bed." It wasn't a total lie, even though at that moment the only thing he wanted to do was rip into Camille's flesh. Only the little Maureen had beaten him to it unfortunately.

"Alec, are you okay?" Isabelle asked. "Why didn't you just spend the night at Magnus' place?"

"We broke up."

The words were simple enough, but Isabelle didn't seem to understand. Or she didn't want to. "What do you mean, you broke up? What happened?"

Alec heard the elevator ding and Jace and Clary stepped off. He wanted to scream. Sinking into the floor worked too.

"It doesn't matter," Alec answered.

"You're drenched," Jace said. He must have come directly from the infirmary and Alec remembered with some guilt what has been going on here.

"That doesn't matter," Alec mumbled. "Shouldn't you be downstairs in the infirmary?"

"_Yes", _Clary answered for Jace with some irritation.

"I saw the Silent Brothers, I should be able to sleep in my own bed." Jace took a step forward and looked into his _Parabatai's _eyes. "What about you though? Are you all right? You're soaked and something is wrong. I can tell"

"He and Magnus broke up!" Isabelle announced. Alec turned and fixed a glare on her. Leave it to Izzy to be able to keep the secret that he was gay for years and years but not the one about his break-up for ten seconds.

Clary looked at Alec in sympathy. "Oh, Alec, I'm so sorry. Breakups suck."

Alec didn't turn to look at Clary, he was too preoccupied telepathically making death threats to his sister.

"I am so sorry, Alec! It slipped out, I swear!" She apologized sheepishly.

Alec shrugged. "It doesn't matter, Izzy. They needed to know anyway." He turned and looked at Jace and Clary. "He wants everyone to know he is no longer out pet warlock and-" he swallowed hard. "And he doesn't want to see any of us again."

No one seemed to know what to say. How do you respond to something like that? Alec hated to put them in that awkward position, but they would have to find out eventually, it might as well have been now.

"Alec-" Isabelle reached for his arm, but he pulled away.

"Izzy, don't. I told you it doesn't matter."

"It does matter!" she protested. "I warned him. I told him that if he ever hurt you-"

Alec held up his hand to silence her. "You don't understand, Isabelle. I'm not the one who was hurt. I betrayed Magnus. You don't know what I did and just how much _I _hurt _him._"

"We would if you would talk to us every now-and-then. You act as though we're strangers," Isabelle said. "But we're all your family-"

"I know that," Alec said, suddenly feeling very gained up on. "But I'm not ready to tell you what I did. Not yet."

And with that, he walked away, and locked himself inside his room, leaving himself to down in his own depressing thoughts.

It was times like these, he thought, as he grabbed onto his pillow and sobbed into it, muffling his cries, that he wished he was willing to cry in front of people. Isabelle, Jace or even Clary. Magnus was the one person he didn't feel embarrassed to cry in front of.

He felt so alone.


End file.
